We make many assumptions about Florida. At one point, everyone has read a "Florida Man" or DeSantis headline and wondered whether the long flight is even worth it. I was more anxious about the people there than the gators, but most were too concerned with work or play to pay us any mind.
If you live in the Pacific Northwest, I'm sure (especially this year) you have been thankful that you reside here. In my opinion, we have a surplus of almost everything any Queer person could want, except for consistent sunshine and warm oceans. It's not a surprise that going to Florida is a common pilgrimage among Gay people, as it offers plenty of opportunities for respite (or partying).
A caveat: My wife and I are two Lesbians in our thirties, so I won't be discussing the nightlife in Florida. However, if you love relaxation, nature, and theme parks, keep reading.
The plan was to spend two weeks in late February and early March. The temperatures stayed a comfortable 70-80 degrees. We only experienced rain three times, each downpour short yet intense. Our time was divided thus: two days each in Orlando, Miami, and Key West, and the remainder with family in Venice.
After a red-eye flight, we landed in Tampa, were picked up by my father-in-law, and then arrived at his home in Venice. I immediately noticed the birds and their calls, which were new to me. I quickly learned that Florida is an excellent place for birdwatching, as herons, cranes, pelicans, and other kinds can be observed in the many bodies of water, small and large. My mother-in-law said I was just in time to see the rare roseate spoonbill, so we walked to a nearby marsh. I'm grateful I had the opportunity to see its pink plumage.
Sarasota and Venice Beach
After the first day spent birdwatching in the neighborhood and relaxing in the pool, we all went to Siesta Key Beach in Sarasota. It was very crowded — and for good reason. The sands are white and incredibly soft, consisting of 99% quartz. If barefoot, it will make your feet look sugarcoated. The reflective surface of the sand keeps it cool to the touch, though. We sunbathed on beach towels, and it was so peaceful that I caught myself drifting off several times.
We then went to Venice Beach to watch the sunset, of which Florida offers some of the most beautiful. There is a pier used for fishing or to get a closer look at the dolphins breaching in the distance. The sand is coarser here, but if you sift through it, you can find some decent shells and even shark teeth. On another day, my wife and I scoured and sifted in the ocean and collected a decent haul.
Venice Beach also features nearby stores filled with souvenirs and beach-themed accessories. I found a cute sunhat and a book on fossil hunting in Florida.
Orlando Universal Studios
Next was Universal Studios in Orlando, and we were excited to see how different it was from the LA location. We set up in a nearby hotel by night and explored Universal Studios Florida Park and the Islands of Adventure Park by day. The former is much larger than its LA counterpart. (If you intend to explore all four parks, plan to spend more than two days there.) There were a few rides that I had already experienced in LA, but overall I much preferred Orlando.
The parks have much to offer movie buffs, whether rides or merchandise. My favorite attractions were E.T. Adventure and the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit Coaster. Foodwise, save your appetite for a reservation at the Mythos Restaurant, where the lamb meatballs and mango lassi were mouthwatering. The "grotto of the gods" design is an oceanic cavern setting so immersive that I would not have been surprised to see Zeus sitting at the next table.
Crystal River Manatees
The highlight of our trip was visiting Crystal River to see the manatees. We signed up to snorkel in the spring water with those gentle giants, and it was well worth the chilly early morning boat ride. I'd advise researching the tour service you choose to ensure that your group is small and that they emphasize passive observance. It's critically important that humans do not touch or corner the manatees as they warm up during the winter.
We gently floated on top of the water and observed the docile sea cows resting along the bottom of the river. I was surprised by their size and Zen-like nature. Algae grew on their backs and fish would approach to clean them off in return for a free meal. One manatee, napping, lethargically waved away with its flipper a fish interrupting its rest and then returned to snoozing. I hope to be as round, wrinkled, and chill as these manatees in my golden years.
Miami and Little Havana
Here are some things about Miami to take note of before you go: Budget for the exorbitant food prices — the average cheeseburger costs $16. If your hotel offers you a choice between a complimentary glass of wine or complimentary breakfast, take the breakfast. If driving, do not enter the passing lane unless you are willing to go 85 MPH or above. Floridians treat weaving through traffic and not using their blinkers as routine as brushing their teeth. Lastly, areas popular with tourists will be flush with police, so use your best judgement there.
Our first stop before Miami Beach was B&M Market for its fall-off-the-bone oxtail, which I will dream about for the next several months. The market is a hidden gem, serving up classic Jamaican food for over 30 years. One of the owners shared how Anthony Bourdain once visited.
After our meal, my wife and I traveled to Miami Beach to swim among the waves. The sand was hot and the ocean was warm, perfect for relaxing with a book or wading in the cerulean blue water.
The next day, we headed for Little Havana, the Cuban heart of Miami. We explored Calle Ocho to get a taste of cigars, Latin American art, domino games, and empanadas in the jazz era Ball & Chain restaurant/nightclub. Go for the art galleries and stay for the local chicken population, which roam the sidewalks with the pedestrians.
Key West
The southernmost point of Florida, Key West is a gorgeous little island. I recommend exploring the historic neighborhoods filled with their famous conch houses in pastel colors, snorkeling at Fort Zachary Beach, and ordering a Cuban sandwich at Sandy's Café.
Do not pass up scuba diving in the tropical reefs. If you lack certification, the Snuba of Key West offers guided "snuba," which uses oxygen tanks attached to an inflatable raft that you can return to, if you are nervous, by following your oxygen line. Your guide will monitor your oxygen levels so you can focus on the brightly colored fish that trail along the sea floor.
Once my wife and I acclimated to diving, we glided through the water, peeking around every rock and seagrass leaf to spy on the teeming aquatic life. Unfortunately, due to the effects of climate change, there was not much coral. Hopefully environmental action and the efforts of sanctuaries will save this critical part of the reef's ecosystem.
The experience was still well worth it, and the fact that we bonded with our guide Dennis, a fellow Washingtonian, was a bonus. If you take up Snuba of Key West's offer, request Dennis, as his work and conversation are both excellent.
After two weeks, I became homesick, but Florida was an incredible getaway from the rainy Seattle weather. The sunshine and warm seawater restored the pep in my step after a stressful January and has given me new cherished memories with my wife and in-laws. The state offers unique experiences in nature that you can't find in the Pacific Northwest and has a lot of charm. Just don't forget to pack plenty of sunscreen!
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