Making friends as an adult can be hard. There are no recess games to bond over, sharing food is kind of weird, and if you wear a tutu out in public, odds are you're gonna get some strange looks. Maybe the fear comes from the ways we learn to judge others, for their looks, their interests, how they choose to express themselves, and how they love.

Whatever the reason, one Seattle organization is working to make it a little easier. The Varsity Gay League knows that some of our best friendships and communities are built through play and sports, so it has set out on a mission to create a fun and friendly environment where LGBTQ adults in Seattle can bond over a playground classic: kickball.

"This is another way of fighting 'the Seattle Freeze' for some of us," says Jose Lopez, director of the VGL's Seattle division. "Many people find long-term friends. I started playing in 2018, and now it's 2021 and I'm still on the same team. They've become really good friends of mine, and it's through a game you'd play in fourth grade."

Humble beginnings
Since 2018, the Varsity Gay League has organized a competitive kickball league for members of Seattle's LGBTQ community. It started out with humble beginnings but has quickly grown. "The very first season there were four teams," said Lopez. "The season we just finished has been our most successful yet — we had 12 teams. Currently, for the one that is going to start next month, we already have 12 teams signed up."

The Varsity Gay League is a national organization that started in Los Angeles. Down in California, the league is so popular that multiple sports with multiple divisions have been introduced. In Seattle, however, with just 12 teams competing, the kickball scene is much more intimate.

"So far, for us, we just have kickball, [but] we are in the process of bringing indoor volleyball. The hope is to do a winter and fall league," explained Lopez.

The kickball league currently runs in the spring, summer, and fall, with games on Saturdays and Sundays in the fall. As interest in the league grows, the hope is for volleyball to begin in the winter months.

Weekend games are hosted at Montlake Park. "We're utilizing Montlake playfield, and that's through Seattle Parks and Rec. We had really good feedback from players that they really like Montlake: it has good parking, it has lots of space, and you have the option of playing on the grass or the softball field. So we are sticking to Montlake for that," Lopez explained.

The real win is community
The season runs for six weeks, with two games per team on the weekend. At the end of the season, the league hosts a tournament, with two divisions of double-elimination play. While the tournament can get competitive, the goal for most teams is to just have fun and make friends.

"Sometimes folks stay to cheer on other people and just hang out. Or they finish and then they go and socialize. Our sponsor bar is Madison Pub, and if [people] choose to, they go over there, and you see all their posts after the games. They go to the park, they go to the beach, they go to brunch."

The real win for most participants is just the friends and connections they are able to make. "I talked to people who moved in 2020 — it was stressful for them, they didn't know anybody, and then they finished the season and they said, 'I cannot see myself not doing this again.' The sport is a part of it, but at the end of the day it's the community aspect," said Lopez.

Room for everyone
The league is open to players of all skill levels, from those who haven't played kickball since fifth grade to those who have moved from competitive areas like Phoenix and LA and are used to bringing home tournament trophies.

Anyone can make a team or join as a free agent, as long as they are over 18, and preferably vaccinated. Some teams are made up of groups of friends who are interested in getting out for a little physical activity; others are made up entirely of strangers looking to meet new people in Seattle.

This past season, Lopez put together two teams of free agents. "One of the things I implemented this season was to host an unofficial play day," Lopez explained, "to bring in those free agents, people who literally just moved to Seattle and don't know anybody, and give them an opportunity to get to know people, interact with other players from other teams, and maybe find a team. So that worked out well.

"This last season, we had two teams of free agents, because the other teams were full. We gave them opportunities to get to know each other beforehand, and that worked out really well, because by the time the games started, they all knew each other."

Whether players come in with existing friend groups or are looking to expand their social lives a little, the Varsity Gay Leagues has room for everyone. The league is open to all members of the LGBTQ community and allies, as long as they are willing to have a conversation with league organizers about why they are interested in joining.

"People ask, 'Why don't you just open it up to everyone?'" Lopez said. "It's because those spaces are already out there. There are leagues for everyone, and in those specific places, you can see yourself changing. When you're there, you're there just for the sport. But here, you come for the sport and also for the community."

LGBTQ spaces
The importance of creating spaces for LGBTQ people to come together is one of the driving reasons behind Varsity Gay Leagues. "As a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, there is a need for these places, for many many reasons," Lopez said. "You [may] have to be a different person at work, you know, in different spaces. When you go into a league where it's pretty much [straight], then you have to adapt to that community.

"These spaces are there because, for many of us, this is the space where we can be the most honest and the most true to ourselves without doing a code switch. These specific leagues are needed everywhere. They're needed nationwide, and I do believe, based on what I've read, that is the reason, especially in LA, why this league started."

One of the main reasons Lopez believes LGBTQ spaces are vital in cities like Seattle is because many communities can find themselves dwindling under gentrification. While allies are well meaning, they can intrude upon Queer spaces, fetishize certain members of the community, and end up making LGBTQ folks feel unwelcome in the very locations that were made just for them. For this reason, the league is wary of accepting people outside of the LGBTQ community, but is willing to make exceptions.

The experiences players have had in Seattle's kickball league have been overwhelmingly positive. For those new to Seattle, the league has provided them with opportunities to make new friends and discover parts of the city's rich LGBTQ community. For long-time residents, the league offers new opportunities to participate in sports without the often overwhelming and toxic heterosexual environment.

"If you ever have a chance to go in and experience it, there is a different level of energy. You know that everyone there is a part of our community, and everyone is understanding of who you are and who you want to be, in that space and that moment. It's so inclusive and you take advantage of that," said Lopez.

The Seattle Varsity Gay League will be registering teams and free agents until August 20. For more information about joining, visit www.varsitygayleague.com/seattle.