The impact of living through one major historic event after another these last two years has certainly tested the limits of our collective optimism and left many jaded about what 2022 will bring. But the year-end's approach still often prompts thoughts of New Year's resolutions. And if our affinity for tradition says anything, it's certain some folks will nonetheless be inspired to set new goals over the next few weeks.
"I think the pandemic has really clarified a lot of people's boundaries and values in a way that is really valuable, and really an opportunity," Jack MacCarthy, a Los Angeles—based artist, writer, performer, and life coach who owns and operates the Feminist Life Coach, told the SGN. "I have seen multiple people realize: 'You know what, I'm not going to put up with this treatment from my family of origin anymore' or 'You know what, it's time for me to start hormones or change my name, or make these other changes that I wasn't sure about before.'"
However, MacCarthy finds that traditional advice about New Year's resolutions has not served him well, and thus aims to share advice that can be more tangible and useful for his clients.
"I see the same exact advice every year, and me and my neurodivergent brain... do not fit into most of that advice... but that doesn't mean I can't be generative and fruitful and commit to things that are going to serve me," MacCarthy said. "It's really important to me to put advice out there that is going to serve other people who may not feel as served by most of the traditional New Year's resolution advice."
Below are some of MacCarthy's alternative approaches for those feeling inspired to create change in 2022:
Identify your values and create goals that align with them
"I really encourage people to ask themselves: is this really in alignment with my values, and with what I have capacity for right now? And it's okay if you don't know, it's okay to try things on and see how it feels, and see whether it feels sustainable, and whether it feels aligned," MacCarthy said. "There's a lot of beating ourselves up, or thinking that we're not good enough or the ways we're living our lives are not good enough, wrapped up in the whole concept of New Year's resolutions. What I would encourage is, assuming you have limited capacity, what would you spend your limited time and energy and attention on? Start with that, to get a sense of what's most important to you right now."
Consider setting intentions or cultivating a feeling over creating resolutions
It may serve one better to focus on something more abstract rather than setting concrete goals.
"Cultivating what you want in 2022 does not have to come in the form of a resolution... it can be a feeling, and that you are going to just do whatever in your life you think will create more of that feeling, or it can be a specific fictional character that you're trying to channel this year," MacCarthy said. "There are ways of intention setting and changing things for yourself for the better that don't have to look like a New Year's resolution."
Reassess your energy levels as time goes on
Though it's always been common to experience varying energy levels throughout the year, MacCarthy notes that the various states of emergency brought on by the pandemic have put in flux how many of us work toward long-term goals. For instance, one may set a goal to work on writing one's novel every day, but some weeks one might struggle to even get out of bed.
"It's okay to take the time to just focus on meeting your basic needs," MacCarthy said. "And then when you feel a little more resourced, check in with the goal again. Is it still the right goal for right now?"
Focus on achieving "non-zero" amounts of your goal
MacCarthy encourages clients to do "non-zero" amounts of work toward their goal. For instance, if someone sets a goal to practice journaling daily but isn't doing the amount they want or isn't journaling at all, MacCarthy encourages that person to work on any amount of journaling, even if it's the "bare minimum."
"It's not about a specific amount, it's about doing the thing at all," MacCarthy said. "Sometimes they open it up, and it's like, I'm going to literally write one sentence, but then they get inspired and they write three pages. Taking that pressure off can be really useful."
It can also be valuable to assess our self-imposed rules and structures. MacCarthy mentioned Kate Scott's Medium post "Run the Dishwasher Twice," in which Scott's therapist suggested she reassess that rule she'd set with herself for getting her dishes washed, which Scott found helpful for overcoming that self-imposed mental barrier.
"A really common rule that I see people setting is: if you fall off the horse, you're off the horse forever," MacCarthy said. "I think having ADHD has forced me to be really generous with myself and encourage the people I work with to be very generous with themselves, and to not think of things in very strict, structured ways. If I intend to have a daily habit, I can still come back to it, [even] if I miss a day, a week, or a month."
Use this free online quiz to identify your motivators
MacCarthy has found Gretchen Rubin's online Four Tendencies quiz to be useful for identifying how one responds to inner expectations versus outer expectations.
"I think it's useful for thinking about [if you're] more influenced by inner expectations or outer expectations, because if outer expectations are more motivating for you, then think about ways you can create a structure in your life that will support that," MacCarthy said.
"Sometimes people feel like, "Oh, I should be able to do this entirely on my own, I should be doing this for me, not because someone else expects this of me," but if it's something you want to do, and it's something that's aligned for you, there's nothing wrong with the fact that you might find it easier to do in the context of a class or an accountability buddy."
The Four Tendencies quiz can be found at https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/four-tendencies-quiz/. MacCarthy can be found online at https://feministlifecoach.com/ and https://www.jackmaccarthy.com/.
2022 New Year's resolutions stumping you? Consider these alternative approaches instead
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