Reprinted with permission from Stonewall News Northwest (https://www.stonewallnews.net)
Stephanie McVay is more than an actress — she's an unexpected yet beloved maternal figure in the Gay community. Her sincerity and side-splitting charm on-screen create something magical, making her a cherished figure in LGBTQ+ cinema.
Born on November 8, 1954, McVay continues to be a vibrant and versatile actress. Her career has showcased her remarkable talent across various roles, from deeply emotional to hilariously irreverent. While her life is relatively private, her on-screen persona speaks volumes, embodying the love, acceptance, and quirky energy the Queer community celebrates.
McVay first gained recognition in Edge of Seventeen (1998), a poignant coming-of-age film about a teenager grappling with his sexuality in the 1980s. Her portrayal of a supportive yet occasionally bewildered mom was authentic and resonated deeply with viewers. Her character was genuine — a mix of love and human imperfection that struck a chord with many.
Her rise as an icon didn't stop there. She stepped into the realm of campy Queer comedy in Another Gay Movie (2006), playing Bonnie Hunter. In this film, which wasn't afraid to be outrageous and over-the-top, gave McVay the chance to shine differently. Her character was hilariously brash yet refreshingly relatable, capturing the heightened absurdity of the story while remaining lovable. McVay reprised this role in Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild! (2008), solidifying her place as a Gay cultural icon with her unmatched comedic timing and heartfelt humor.
The magic of her roles lies in her ability to make audiences laugh while also providing a grounding presence. For those in the LGBTQ+ community who may not have experienced unconditional love in real life, her characters symbolize safety, support, and motherly affection. She has crafted roles that feel like home to many viewers, giving them moments of solace and joy through the screen.
McVay showcases her talent across a rich and diverse range of genres and formats. She has graced television with roles in shows like Mom, The Office, Superstore, and The Romanoffs. From sweet older women to scene-stealers with sharp one-liners, McVay's ability to adapt is nothing short of impressive. Her recent role in 2021's Swan Song, another Queer-themed project, proves that her impact continues to evolve and remains timeless.
I had the opportunity to interview McVay about her life and career. Here are our edited conversations:
Frank Gaimari: What inspired you to pursue acting, and how did you find your way into LGBTQ+ cinema?
Stephanie McVay: My journey in performance began in grade school when I played the Lion in The Wizard of Oz. I got the part on the condition that I learned how to roar. I went home and practiced my roar diligently and nailed it. Once on stage, the acting bug bit me, and I never looked back. Throughout high school, I participated in the drama club and, after school, engaged in community theater.
My entry into LGBTQ+ cinema was a happy accident. I was living in Manhattan when I stumbled upon an ad in Backstage looking for an actress. I auditioned and was surprised to land the role. Todd Stephens, the director and producer of the film, told me I reminded him of his mother. That moment began my journey into this magical corner of filmmaking, and it's been an incredible ride ever since!
FG: Many fans see you as an iconic "mother figure" in Gay films. How do you feel about this legacy, and what does it mean to you personally?
SM: Being a "mother figure" is an incredible honor, and I take great pride in that title. When members of the LGBTQ+ community come up to me and say, "I wish you were my mother," my heart swells with joy. I embrace everyone with open arms and listen to their stories.
FG: What draws you to roles in LGBTQ+ films, and how do you approach portraying such meaningful relationships on screen?
SM: I feel truly blessed to have Todd Stephens in my life, because he consistently reaches out to me for these roles. The characters I portray possess similar traits, so I draw inspiration from my mother, who was loving, compassionate, and very accepting.
FG: Do specific moments or scenes from your career stand out as impactful or unforgettable?
SM: One scene from Edge of Seventeen is particularly impactful for me. It's when I'm sitting at the piano, and my son reveals to me that he's Gay. That scene never fails to touch my heart and bring a tear to my eye.
FG: Do you have a personal connection to the LGBTQ+ community that has influenced your work or understanding of these stories?
SM: Yes. I appreciate the friendships I've built with the LGBTQ+ community. Their support, love, and perspectives have significantly enhanced my life.
FG: Looking back at your career, what are you most proud of? Are there any upcoming projects or roles you're excited about?
SM: Reflecting on my career, I feel a deep pride in my journey. Every role I've taken in film and television has been significant. As for the future, I'm excited about what lies ahead — my career is far from over. My passion for acting will never fade.
I recently spoke with Todd Stephens about an upcoming film, and he mentioned his interest in casting me for the project. I'm hopeful the film receives the green light and can find myself in front of the camera again.
FG: The ending of Edge of Seventeen leaves much open to interpretation, especially concerning the mother's journey. One lingering question is whether she ultimately came to accept her son's homosexuality.
SM: The 1980s were a challenging era for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families, marked by widespread misunderstanding and a lack of resources for parents navigating their children's identities. Despite the complexities and emotional struggles depicted in the film, I believe there is a deep love between the mother and son. She embraces her son for who he truly is.
Talking with Stephanie McVay felt like catching up with an old friend. Her warmth and openness made the conversation enjoyable. She answered my questions with care, leaving me excited for her future and in awe of her impressive work. Stephanie is a true treasure of the Queer community. Her positive impact is unmistakable.
Frank Gaimari is the author of Circus Animals: A Novel, a film reviewer, and an actor. He lives in Seattle with his two loving golden retrievers.
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