Dating today isn't what it used to be. While apps have made the experience manageable and safer for Queer people, the depersonalization of the interface has left many feeling unfulfilled.

Over half of all LGBTQ+ people use dating apps, according to the Pew Research Center. In 2024, Tinder was the most common, followed by Bumble and Hinge. For LGBTQ+ apps in particular, Grindr was the most popular.

Nielsen data shows that 223,000 adults in the Seattle area use dating apps, making it the second-most-popular city for digital connections. Here, 14% of adults under 35 use apps to search for a partner — almost twice as many as the national average.

Despite their popularity, people are split on whether they make finding a partner easier.

"Twinks only"

Sam Crabtree has been using dating apps since 2017, though he's been on few dates. "I [haven't] been committed enough to the whole thing to want to sustain a conversation with a stranger or be active on the apps," he admitted.

Crabtree usually sticks to Scruff, Grindr, and Tinder but occasionally uses Hinge. Though he uses Grindr most, he's found more frogs than princes. "I keep getting messages from 70-year-olds with 'twinks only' in their bio," said Crabtree, who is in his 20s.

He is open to an age-gap relationship but is deterred by the men on Grindr. "It has less to do with age and more to do with mild to severe fetishization," he said. "I could meet someone in their 50s or 60s I might find attractive, but they're generally not the ones with 'twinks only' in their bio, and oftentimes the vibes are not ideal or humanizing. And if you see 'just a hole' on a 75-year-old's page, you get the sense that their life may not be in its most ideal era."

Tesla lover

For Torria Pace, Tinder is also a minefield for strange encounters. They once met up with a match who was too into his Tesla. "I was teasing him about [the Tesla], and he got defensive and was like, 'It's a beautiful car,'" they recalled. "He kept going on about how it looked, which was weird."

Eventually, he started complaining about an injury he sustained from "working on his car."

"You can't work on a Tesla," Pace said. "You have to take it to the mechanic." After some pressing, the date confessed: his injury didn't come from working on the car but rather in it.

The man had installed a language-learning model into his car and attempted to teach it how to love him. "It escalated to this Her-style Tesla jerking over multiple years, where he just sort of sat weirdly in the car and had his car seat crush him while he did his dealings, and that's why his ribs hurt."

Despite the lousy date, Pace continues to use Tinder. "I still use it because I like a weird story," they admitted. "It made me wonder how men can have so much money and so little therapy."

Happily ever after

Despite some bad experiences, Pew found that one in ten partnered adults met their significant other on a dating app. That was the case for Harry Smith.

"I joke that I went through the trenches to find my man, but I kind of did," he said. "I went on many dates that were just okay, only a couple of bad ones." He met his now-boyfriend in June 2023 when he liked his profile. "I noticed he had a fun fact about the Titanic on his profile, so I messaged him and said I had a friend who is obsessed with the Titanic, and he said, 'Now you have two!'"

On Hinge, people highlight their personalities in their profiles. "I appreciate the prompts that Hinge provides. It gives you a better chance of gauging chemistry before talking or meeting in person," Smith said. "It is still difficult when people give lame or unoriginal responses, but sometimes you get lucky and find a gem."

Whether you love or hate them, dating apps are here to stay, especially in Seattle. Because swiping opens up a much larger pool of people to interact with, using the apps can involve some strange encounters, but if you're lucky, it might lead to a lasting connection.