As the leaves turn vibrant shades of orange and red, and the crisp Seattle air carries the scent of rain and pine, there's a comforting call to swap out our summer wardrobes for something a bit more forgiving. Who else is ready to trade zippers and buttons for the cozy embrace of an elastic waistband?
I, for one, relish the arrival of the colder months. I have an unabashed love for layers - I swear I own more jackets, sweaters, and sweatshirts than any one person reasonably should.
The ritual begins: brewing endless cups of tea, drawing long, luxurious baths with heaps of Epsom salt, and bringing out my plush, pillow-like down comforter. During the fall and winter, most days you'll find me at home, curled up on the couch, listening to vinyl records as the rain patters against the windowpane. My home is my nest, a sanctuary where I feel so comfortable that I rarely feel the need to leave. This is me, fully embracing my inner stretch pants.
But even when I do step outside, I've learned to take my mental stretch pants with me. Carrying that sense of comfort, authenticity, and self-assurance wherever I go is essential. It's about em-bracing who I am, whether I'm nestled at home or navigating the bustling streets of Seattle. For at least a couple of months, I get to step back from the pressures we often feel -especially as Gay men - to look perfect for that sunny trip to Madison Beach's Gay side. There's a certain freedom in allowing ourselves to unwind, indulge in good food, and let go of the incessant need to be "on" all the time.
Of course, come spring, I'll probably scramble to get back into shape two weeks before the first sign of sunshine. But for now, it's time to reflect and gift ourselves a little self-care.
We all know the holidays can be hectic. Whether you're navigating the complexities of your born-in family or celebrating with your chosen family, the dynamics can be as varied as they are in-tense. So why not take this time to prepare for the crazy - and hopefully happy - moments ahead?
Self-care and comfort: Embracing the stretch
In the spirit of relaxation and self-love, let's explore how embracing our inner stretch pants can lead to a more joyful, stress-free season. From letting loose and unwinding to navigating the holi-days with ease and connecting with our community in comfortable settings, it's time to prioritize what truly makes us feel good.
There's something liberating about slipping into a pair of stretch pants: the way they move with you, accommodating every bend and stretch without constraint. It's not just about physical com-fort; it's a metaphor for giving ourselves permission to relax and be authentic. In a world that often demands perfection, especially in the LGBTQ+ community, where image can feel paramount, embracing our "stretch pants" is a rebellious act of self-love.
Self-care isn't a luxury; it's a necessity. It's about more than spa days and scented candles (though those are delightful); it's about acknowledging our worth and treating ourselves with kind-ness. In the hustle of daily life, we can easily forget to check in with ourselves. Are we eating well? Getting enough sleep? Taking moments to breathe and just be? Let's allow ourselves the grace to prioritize our well-being without guilt.
Breaking free from expectations
Societal pressures have a sneaky way of creeping into our minds. The expectation to look a certain way, achieve specific milestones, or constantly be available can be overwhelming. But here's a little secret: it's okay to set boundaries and say no. It's okay to choose what makes you happy over what others expect of you. Wearing stretch pants isn't just about physical comfort; it's a statement that you're choosing yourself over external judgments.
For me, my home is where I can truly be myself, free from external pressures and expectations. Even when I step outside, I've learned to take my mental stretch pants with me. By holding onto that inner comfort, I'm able to break free from societal expectations and live life on my own terms.
Tips for self-care
- Mindfulness practices: Start or end your day with a few minutes of meditation or deep breathing. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you if you're new to mindfulness.
- Create a cozy space: Transform a corner of your home into a relaxation haven. I collect vinyl records and have a dedicated space where I can put on a record and comfortably take it in. Soft lighting, plush pillows, and your favorite throw can make all the difference.
- Indulge in hobbies: Remember that hobby you've been meaning to pick up again? Now's the time. As a musician, I find myself working on new song ideas during these quieter months. Whether it's picking up an instrument, painting, writing, or any creative outlet, immersing yourself in activities that bring you joy can be incredibly fulfilling.
- Stay connected: Reach out to friends or join online communities. Sharing experiences and laughs (virtually or safely in person) can boost your mood and reinforce that you're not alone.
- Move your body: This isn't about hitting the gym, unless that's your thing. Dance in your living room, practice yoga, or take leisurely walks in the crisp autumn air. Movement releases endorphins and helps alleviate stress.
- Set digital boundaries: I'm a heavy tech user, and I know how easy it is to get sucked into screens all day. I try to force myself to disconnect at times, whether it's turning off notifications during certain hours or designating tech-free zones in my home. Limiting screen time, especially before bed, can improve sleep quality and overall mental health.
Letting loose and unwinding: The art of relaxation
In our fast-paced world, the idea of slowing down can seem almost radical. We're encouraged to hustle, stay busy, and always be reaching for the next goal. But what if we gave ourselves permission to pause? To let loose and unwind without guilt?
Relaxation isn't just a luxury it's vital for our mental and physical health. Chronic stress can lead to a host of issues, from anxiety to burnout. By intentionally setting aside time to relax, we're improving our well-being and recharging so we can be our best selves in other areas of life.
But as a Virgo, sometimes I can get too relaxed and disconnect from everyone for days at a time. We Virgos tend to cherish our alone time and often have to nudge ourselves to be more social. Let's just say, the act of unwinding is not an issue for me! While it's wonderful to enjoy solitude, it's also important to find a balance and stay connected with the world around us.
Fun ways to unwind
- Host a cozy movie night: Invite a few close friends over for a low-key evening. Wear your comfiest clothes, pop some popcorn, and enjoy a marathon of your favorite films. Netflix and chill is definitely a thing, and it doesn't have to involve sex - though I wouldn't hold it against you if it does!
- Explore nature: Take a leisurely walk through beautiful outdoor spaces. My go-to is the Washington Park Arboretum. The fresh air and natural beauty can be incredibly rejuvenating.
- Try a new hobby: Ever wanted to learn to knit or bake? Now's the perfect time. Engaging in creative activities can be both relaxing and rewarding.
- Create a spa experience at home: Light some candles, play soothing music, and indulge in a face mask or a warm bath with essential oils.
- Digital detox day: Unplug from your devices for a day. Use the time to read, journal, or simply enjoy the quiet. I personally approve of listening to audiobooks during this time. It's a great way to relax without the screen time, and you can immerse yourself in a good story while still giving your eyes a break.
Stress-free holidays: Navigating the season with ease
The holiday season is often portrayed as the most wonderful time of the year, but let's be honest it can also be one of the most stressful. Between social obligations, family dynamics, and the pressure to make everything perfect, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. But what if we approached the holidays differently this year?
Who says you have to adhere to tradition? The holidays should be about what brings you joy and fulfillment. Consider what aspects of the season genuinely make you happy and focus on those. Here are some ideas:
Simplifying celebrations
- Intimate gatherings: Instead of large parties, opt for smaller get-togethers with people who uplift you.
- Potluck dinners: Share the load by having each guest bring a dish. It reduces stress and adds variety to the meal.
- Virtual celebrations: If distance or circumstances keep you apart, organize a virtual holiday party with games and shared activities.
Avoiding holiday burnout
- Set realistic expectations: Acknowledge that not everything has to be perfect. It's okay if the pie is a little burnt or if the decorations aren't Pinterest-worthy.
- Prioritize your time: Decide which events or traditions are most important to you and let go of the rest.
- Practice saying no: This is my personal favorite, and you need to understand that it's okay. It's perfectly acceptable to decline invitations or requests that add unnecessary stress.
Embracing joyful traditions
- Create new traditions: Start something new that resonates with you, whether it's a holiday movie marathon or volunteering for a cause you care about.
- Focus on connection: The heart of the holidays is connection. Make time for meaningful conversations and quality time with loved ones.
- Casual community events: Connecting in comfort
One of the joys of the season is the opportunity to connect with others. Thankfully, Seattle's LGBTQ+ community offers plenty of venues where the vibe is relaxed, and everyone is welcome just as they are.
Connecting with others who share similar experiences can be incredibly affirming. These occasions provide a space to be yourself, make new friends, and feel a sense of belonging - all while wearing your favorite stretch pants, if you like!
Since the following are on different days, you can enjoy them all!
- "Glitter 54" debut at Julia's on Broadway: Get ready to dance the night away at the debut of "Glitter 54." Hosted by the dazzling Shay Fox, this event celebrates house and disco music spanning decades. With DJs Almond Brown and Trinitron setting the vibe, it's a night dedicated to inclusivity and the joy of music. Glitter 54 is Queer, Genderqueer, Trans, and Nonbinary friendly, a space where everyone is welcome to express themselves freely.
Date: Saturday, November 9
Time: 10 p.m. - 1:30 a.m.
Location: Julia's on Broadway, 300 Broadway E., Seattle, WA 98102
Admission: $20 at the door
Age: 21+
- Friendsgiving feast at Vermillion Art Gallery and Bar: Join a heartwarming Friendsgiving potluck! Bring your favorite dish to share, be it a savory side, a scrumptious dessert, or a fresh salad. It's a wonderful opportunity to create memories, celebrate friendship, and indulge in good food and great company.
Date: Wednesday, November 27
Time: 6-10 p.m.
Location: Vermillion Art Gallery and Bar, 1508 11th Ave., Seattle, WA 98122
- Thanksgiving dinner at Union Bar: For just $20, enjoy a hearty, delightful Thanksgiving dinner featuring turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, house salad, and pumpkin pie with whipped cream while supplies last. As always, Union never charges a cover, including during Pride and block parties. I personally love that they truly make the community feel welcome without any barriers.
Date: Thursday, November 28
Time: Dinner served 4-10 p.m. (or until sold out); Bar open until 2 a.m.
Location: Union Bar, 1009 E Union St
Suite C, Seattle, WA 98122
Admission: No cover charge
Age: 21+
Join the "Stretch into Comfort" Challenge
In the spirit of embracing comfort and authenticity, I invite you to join me in the "Stretch Into Comfort" Challenge!
How to participate
1. Snap a photo: Take a picture of yourself in your favorite stretch pants or comfy attire.
2. Share your comfort moment: Caption it with how you're embracing self-care and relaxation this season.
3. Use the hashtag: Post it on social media with the hashtag #StretchIntoComfort.
4. Tag friends: Encourage others to join in by tagging friends who could use a little extra comfort.
This challenge isn't about fashion - it's about celebrating individuality, self-love, and the joy of embracing who we are without pretense. Let's flood social media with positivity and support for one another.
Final thoughts
As we cozy up this season, let's make a pact to prioritize our well-being. Let's normalize choosing comfort, setting boundaries, and practicing self-love. After all, life is too short to wear uncomfortable pants or to live on anyone else's terms but our own.
So go ahead, embrace your inner stretch pants. You deserve it. Of course, I get it when summer hits, go back to your regularly scheduled programming.
Note: All events are subject to change. Please check the event websites or contact organizers for the most up-to-date information.
Alan Motley is a nightlife columnist for the SGN, covering the vibrant LGBTQ+ scenes and stories that make our city shine after dark.
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