But first, brunch
Of course, the ideal Gay Day does not start before 10 a.m., as one should enjoy the comfort of sleeping in as long as possible. Challenge yourself to press snooze one more time.

When you are ready for brunch, there's no better place to dine than Olmste(a)d. The tropical interior of the flamingo room will bring euphoria to any plant Gay, as you get the opportunity to dine under a beautiful skylight, surrounded by real and faux plants.

Make sure to arrive at Olmste(a)d with an empty stomach and calendar. There is no wrong choice on the menu, but if you're looking for recommendations, the brioche French toast is pure ambrosia. If you want the sensation of tiny angels dancing on your taste buds, you must try a bite of the perfectly grilled and battered bread topped with the chef's special homemade applesauce and sweet cream.

The restaurant doubles as an event venue after dark, home to many fun Queer comedy nights, including Flock, a QT BIPOC-focused comedy showcase every second Thursday of the month; and Munch, a night of kinky Queer comedy every first Thursday.

Anyone who can leave Olmste(a)d without a takeaway box and unbuttoned pants deserves a medal. You'll leave with a full belly — and a full wallet thanks to the restaurant's great prices. It's a great way to start the next phase of your Gay Day: shopping.

Retail therapy
You'll need to hit all the best thrift shops in Seattle, including Lifelong Thrift in Capitol Hill and Red Light Vintage in the U District. Lifelong is an excellent place to find exactly what you weren't looking for, from exquisite artwork to one-of-a-kind dishware. Thrifters won't find better-priced items anywhere else. You can leave with a two-piece suit and $20 still in your pocket.

Red Light Vintage is a bit more spendy, but it's well worth it when you realize you dropped $30 on a shirt made in the USSR. The store is full of timeless pieces you'll want to use to accentuate your wardrobe. If you've been looking for assless chaps, ironic socks, and a new blonde wig, you can find them all in the same place.

No Seattle shopping experience is complete without a stop at a few hidden gems. Perhaps the most underrated store in the city is Standard Goods. Combining the best elements of millennial and Gen Z culture, Standard Goods carries trendy clothes, hilarious stickers, and a card for any occasion. The store also has a collection of boob-molded (and scented?) candles and a wall full of ironic totes and hats. It's hard to enter a Standard Goods store and not drop $100. Luckily, they offer plenty of discount days at the beginning and end of the month.

One of the best-hidden gems in Seattle also sells... hidden gems! Located above Broadway on Capitol Hill, Sankofa Boutique is the metaphysical store for all your crystals, incense, and rings. You'll smell Sankofa Boutique before you see it, due to the lush incense burning at all times. The store keeps all its crystals on display, along with little handwritten signs explaining what energies each one carries. Shoppers can get stones in the shape of hearts, stars, or even penises, depending on what the soul craves.

Get outside and listen to the birds
Once you've finished shopping, you might feel a bit snacky again. And since the perfect Gay Day is not spent inside, for the next phase, you'll head back to nature for a superb picnic. Pack a vegan picnic basket, grab your best friend, the love of your life, or your dog, and head up to Volunteer Park. Just keep your dog on a leash, as the park does not offer an off-leash area for pets.

A spring vegan picnic calls for plenty of fruit and veggies to snack on. Make sure to include carrots, cotton candy grapes, and plenty of strawberries! The best main course is mini sandwiches. If you want something fancy, pick up Boursin dairy-free garlic spread from QFC and make tiny cucumber-and-garlic sandwiches.

The prime picnic nourishes the body and the soul. Volunteer Park is the best place to spark creativity. Bring along a craft project to work on while you eat! Paint a portrait of the sky, sketch your companion, or even scrapbook all the photos from your disposable film cameras that have just been sitting around gathering dust.

Volunteer Park is full of great spots to set up a picnic, but the ideal location combines shade and sunny patches. The best picnic spot in the park is at the south end, between the Black Sun sculpture and the water tower. Here, you get a gorgeous view of blooming willow trees, the duck pond, and the Seattle skyline.

If you're lucky, you may even spot the elusive Scooby Dogs van, serving the best vegan hot dogs in Seattle. You can get also a Mystery Machine—inspired snack topped with mini french fries. The van isn't always at Volunteer Park, so if you spot it and don't get a dog, you may regret it for the rest of your life.

A dinner date with a book
If you didn't get a chance to catch a Scooby Dog, don't worry — there's still plenty of great food to eat on your perfect Gay Day. If you go back down to Broadway, you'll find Bai Tong, one of the best Thai restaurants on Capitol Hill. If your Gay Day includes four or more friends, make sure to get a reservation ahead of time. If not, put your name on the list — the wait will be worth it.

While you wait for the staff at Bai Tong to prepare your table, check out the grandest bookstore in all of Seattle: Elliott Bay Book Company. The three-level business is constantly updated with the newest and most talked-about novels. If you're not leaving with at least three new books, you probably missed the humor section — it's upstairs, go back and check it out. (While you peruse the aisles, keep an eye out for the SGN Book Club's latest pick of the week, The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School.)
Elliott Bay doesn't just sell books, though. The store also has vintage-style posters, games to get you thinking, and cute T-shirts and hats.

Hopefully, you'll receive a text from Bai Tong before you've spent your whole retirement fund at Elliott Bay (unless you're under 35, in which case, what retirement fund?).

The wait will have been worth it once you sit down in one of the most energetic restaurants on Capitol Hill. A hot spot for celebrations, Bai Tong is a terrific place to spend part of your Gay Day. If you've ever wanted to know what Meryl Streep's character felt like in Sophie's Choice, just read the menu and try to pick a dish for dinner. Of course, you can't go wrong with the classic pad thai, but the crispy garlic chicken is a must for anyone who consumes meat.

Most come to Bai Tong for the food, but trust me, you'll want to stay for the drinks. The Fairy Flight is every cottage-core dream come true. For just $16, you are treated to a delicious peach-mixed drink rolled out on a tiny cart adorned with fairy statues, twinkle lights, and flowers. Plus, it comes with a small savory snack to help contrast with the sweetness of the drink.

Drink, then dance with somebody
If you've ever experienced a night on Capitol Hill, you'll know one drink is never enough. Following your meal at Bai Tong, you'll want to hit the streets. If margaritas are your thing, there's no better place than Nacho Borracho. The small bar is bursting with pride. You'll instantly feel safe under the array of rainbow flags raining down from the ceiling. Nacho Borracho also has the best-frozen margaritas on tap — just make sure to sip slowly, or you'll leave with a spinning brain freeze.

If you're more of a sophisticated drinker, head down to Capitol Cider, where you can try some of the best locally grown mulled beverages. Here you can sip your cider knowing you've decreased your carbon footprint by only consuming regional products. Capitol Cider is also just the right place for low lighting and live music. As it's not usually too loud, you can converse with your companion(s) about how perfect this Gay Day is.

For those seeking a nonalcoholic beverage, there is only one answer: boba. Hi Tea Café is the best boba spot on Capitol Hill. The cute shop is on Broadway has plenty of seating for people looking to catch up with friends or even get work done while they sip on sweet tea. Hi Tea also offers a variety of milk alternatives, and thanks to its automotive service system, diners can adjust how much sugar or ice is in their drinks. For anyone overwhelmed by the novel of a menu, there is a correct option, and that option is the Cookie Milk Tea.

Gay Day is not complete without a little bit of dancing. While there are so many Gay bars to choose from on Capitol Hill, the neighborhood is also home to one of the 25 Lesbian bars left in the country. Wildrose is open not only to Lesbians but also Nonbinary, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans people. However, it is the Lesbians that run the night. Get ready for a thousand compliments from some of the hottest people you've ever seen, some amazing throwback music, and best of all, no sleazy cis-het males, thanks to the tireless work of the Lesbian bouncers.

Treat yo'self
Once you've danced away all your cares, it will be time to go home. On your way, you'll need to stop for a sweet treat. I don't make the rules. I'm pretty sure that's just written in the Gay Agenda somewhere.
Grab a delectable dessert from R&M Dessert Bar. Open late, R&M is a small business owned and operated by Rod Gambassi and Marc Adams. The couple makes each pastry from scratch using recipes handed down by their grandmothers. The menu changes daily, but whatever you pick will become your new favorite food.

Once you get home, enjoy your dessert in bed — you deserve it. Snuggle with whoever may join you, be it a partner, a pet, or even just a squish-mallow. If you feel the medieval urge to enjoy visual entertainment while you feast, put on a comfort movie or show. If you need suggestions, you can never go wrong with Schitt's Creek or Modern Family.

Now, dream, dear readers. Dream all about your perfect Gay Day. Dream about the cute dogs you saw — probably being pushed in strollers, because you spent the day on Capitol Hill. Dream about the sunshine and all the ways you'll complain about it once it sticks around. Dream about all the fun things you'll do on your next Gay Day...