From start to finish, the book took three years to complete, undergoing a rigorous review process. "I had about six months to fully complete it and turn it in for my first deadline. Then we did a couple of rounds of developmental edits, so big-picture things, character motivations, etc. Then we moved on to line edits, which is where you polish your prose and make sure all the sentences are fluid and consistent. Then you go into copy edits. You make sure all your commas and grammar are correct, and then you go into past pages and make sure that the layout is good and there are no last-minute typos. Then you go into another round of past pages. It's a long process."

Falling in love with writing
Despite the grueling process, Tooley has fallen in love with writing. She was always a prolific writer who knew she wanted to go into the field but never thought she could. "I was so afraid of never being able to succeed at it that I put it off for a long time."

She put off writing until she finally completed a novel in 2016, just for fun. Once she had overcome that hurdle, writing more became a little easier. "From there, I was like, 'I did this once, I can do it again.' It turned into a feverish experience of trying to make up for all the time that I was too afraid to try."

Her creativity stems from a yearning to see something she never had as a kid.

"I didn't have a lot of sapphic [young adult literature] growing up. I actually can't think of anything I had as a teenager. And I always think, if I had that more readily available, would my coming out process have been different? Would my exploration of my sexuality have been a different experience? And I guess I'm just hoping that maybe this could help someone feel a little bit less alone in ways that I never got to feel like a teen."

The appeal of fantasy
Initially, Tooley didn't think fantasy was the genre she would want to explore, but after finishing her second book, she sees the appeal of world-building.

"I enjoy writing fantasy, because I think there is such freedom there. People always think that when you're writing fantasy, you have to do all this world-building, but when you're writing contemporary, you still have to do world-building. You just can't necessarily break the rules or recast it as an ideal space, and I think with fantasy you get this blank slate."

The creativity and imagination of the fantasy genre allow writers like Tooley to create worlds where oppressive ideas like homophobia never existed in the first place. "I do feel like there is a freedom in writing fantasy and a way of getting to imagine what life could be like without all of the preconceived judgments that we do have to face in day-to-day life."

For teens in particular, Tooley believes there is a lot of pressure to "figure yourself out" and fit into the narrative that most media push on us. "I just think it's important to add to the narrative a little bit and share options," she said. "Like if you're queer, you can still be the star of a fantasy novel, your love can still have a place on the page. Even if the quest has nothing to do with your queerness, you can be queer and go on a quest."

Even though Sweet and Bitter Magic is a Queer book, she wanted Tamsin and Wren's challenges to be rooted in something other than their identities. "I wanted to make [homophobia] a nonissue. I think it's so important to have representation in coming-out novels, but that isn't what I wanted the focus of this book to be. By writing a fantasy love story, I feel like I was able to craft for myself a world where it's only natural that they would fall in love and that their relationship and their love isn't the hurdle in this book."

Even though queerness is not the central struggle of the book, Tooley did want to make sure that it was salient. "First and foremost, I wanted to write a sapphic love story. That was super important to me." As the love story progressed, she began to add more depth to her characters. She wanted to explore their relationship with each other, while also examining their relationship to the world around them.

"It started as a love story, and then it became about looking at the ideas of power and who's allowed to have power, who's treated differently because they have it or because they don't, and what it means when your power is out in the open versus hidden inside. It gave me a lot to play with in terms of power dynamics in family and... in love and relationships and the world even, with earth and magic and balance. That's where it came from. But at the heart of it, it was always going to be a love story."

Metaphors
Metaphors take on a new depth in Sweet and Bitter Magic, with witch powers functioning as stand-ins for social, economic, and racial privilege, as well as curses representing real-life dark forces. "Tamsin's curse was a way for me to explore and work out some of my mental health struggles," Tooley said.

While Tamsin's curse, to live in the absence of love, functions as a powerful metaphor for struggles with mental illness, Tooley also wanted to be clear that the novel does not intend to demonize anyone on the asexual spectrum.

"I wanted to be very sensitive," Tooley said. "I can appreciate the concern that may have come from the community because I can understand that from a quick pitch, it may sound a bit villainizing [of something that absolutely shouldn't be villainized]. That was not my intention, but a completely valid feeling for anyone in that community to have.

"I hope it was clear in the text that it was not about the inability to feel love romantically. It was truly the act of joy that comes from loving anything, whether it's a hobby or a sunset or favorite food or color. It was less about feeling love and what that means in terms of relationships, and more about that sense of joy that comes from having love for something."

Her desires for the book were always to draw people in with a story about inclusion and representation. "At the heart of it, this is a book about love. It is a queer romance, but I don't think there is anything about this book that is meant to alienate. I think it is meant to kind of draw people in."

What's next?
While Sweet and Bitter Magic is a stand-alone, for now, Tooley has hopes of releasing a sequel, or even just a short story, someday. For now, however, she is working on other projects.

"My second book is slated for an April release next year. It is another sapphic fantasy, a brand-new world, another stand-alone story, but it still has a fun, little, grumpy sunshine dynamic in it. This one is about a musician who has spent her entire life training to inherit her father's title as the most renowned lutenist in her country. But on the day of her audition, she loses to a girl who has never played the lute before. So she goes on the road with her to try and prove that she is illegally using magic in her music. It's really fun.

"This is a book so close to my heart. I have always wanted to write a book that has to do with music, and getting to do it in a fantasy setting was so fun. I love this book, and I can't wait to share it. It's called Sophie and the Bones Song, and it will be out in April 2022."

Despite her first two books being sapphic fantasy YA novels, Tooley says she would love to explore other genres. "In the future, I have some ideas that branch out into some adjacent genres, maybe some horror or speculative-type things. I have some ideas stewing in the back of my brain. There is room to grow in the future."

She says she will continue to create Queer sapphic stories throughout her career and believes this is one of the driving forces behind her interest in fantasy and horror.

"I think that there's always that correlation of mistrust of what the general population doesn't understand. I think we see that a lot. I think that's why strong women and Queer women sometimes get the title of 'witch.' The idea of being able to exist without the need for men in relationships can be incredibly threatening."

Perhaps this is the appeal many LGBTQ+ people feel to Halloween, horror, and witchcraft. For Tooley and so many others, a world of magic, fantasy, and monsters still appeals. In this imagined world, real-life dangers and issues like homophobia can disappear for a little while.

For readers, especially teens and young adults, Tooley's books bring a sense of safety. They provide people with stories they can see themselves in, validation for feelings too often demonized, and hope that someday we can find our place in this world as well.