With Valentine's Day fast approaching, there can be pressure to do something nice for that special person. The holiday offers profound joy and significant challenges for those who take it to heart. While many participate, countless others avoid it at all costs.

For those in recovery from substance use, dating and relationships can carry an added layer of complexity as sobriety and personal growth intersect with the emotional demands of intimacy. Fortunately, there are practical tips for sober dating and community resources in Washington State for those recovering from substance use (https://www.addicted.org/news/navigating-love-and-romance-during-recovery).

There are challenges in romantic relationships because of the inherently unpredictable nature of romance. Anyone going through anything challenging in their life knows this to be true when romance enters their life at a difficult time, such as recovery from a substance use disorder. Unfortunately, for those in recovery, engaging in social situations that might involve alcohol or drugs, often a feature of modern dating, can be triggering.

According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, about 24% of Washington State adults 18 and older used illicit drugs in the past month. The National Center for Drug Abuse Statistics also indicates that over 15% of Washington adults over 18 binge-drink at least once per month.

In the LGBTQ community, these issues are often amplified because of strained family relationships and people struggling with sobriety and romantic relationships. According to The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, sexual minority adults were more likely than straight adults to have had a substance use disorder in the past year. About one-third of Bisexual males, Bisexual females, and Gay males had a substance use disorder in the past year, along with one-fourth of Lesbians.

You don't always have to avoid romance if you are new to sobriety. Prioritize your recovery and make sobriety the non-negotiable foundation of your life. Before entering into a relationship, have confidence in your ability to maintain your recovery.

Most importantly, be honest with those you are beginning a relationship with, whether in recovery or not. Transparency about your recovery journey can set the tone for a healthy relationship. Discuss your boundaries and triggers early to avoid misunderstandings.

Building trust requires open and honest communication about past struggles and current goals. Clear expectations about triggers and personal needs can create a safe environment for both partners.

When you are dating, choose sober-friendly activities. Choose dates that don't center around alcohol or drugs. Hiking, art classes, coffee meetups, playing sports, going for walks, casual lunches, or visiting museums can provide fun, sober alternatives. Be creative, and search locally for things to do. Exploring activities and creating routines that support a sober lifestyle can deepen the bond and reduce risks.

Finally, lean on your support network. Stay connected with sponsors, therapists, or support groups to process emotions that arise during dating and relationships. In Washington State, the LGBTQ Commission lists support resources in every county. In addition, the Washington Health Alliance offers LGBTQ+ mental health resources, and the 988 suicide and crisis lifeline is available 24/7.

Marie Garceau has been working in the field of substance use and addiction recovery for over a decade. She works at DRS (https://www.addicted.org) and primarily focuses on reaching out to the community and spreading awareness.