GRAY LOVE: STORIES ABOUT DATING AND NEW RELATIONSHIPS AFTER 60
Edited by NAN BAUER-MAGLIN and DANIEL E. HOOD
© 2023 Rutgers University Press
$24.95
303 pages

You thought you'd be happy alone.

After the divorce, the funeral, or the last break-up, you didn't think a little "me time" was a bad idea. And it wasn't.

But love — someone to go to the movies with or dine with or snuggle with — seems more appealing now. You have company, but you are "without intimacy."

Today, though, as you've learned, and as the 42 essays in Gray Love confirm, that's easier said than done.

You want a partner, someone your age, but you fear becoming a caretaker. Having someone around would be nice, but you also like doing your own thing.

Or you don't want a full-time someone, but it's still scary to think about "falling off a ladder alone."

So you go online because, well, people don't meet like they used to. That's when you learn about scams the hard way. You learn that dating sites are generally rife with people who lie about their ages, who seem clingy, or who want things you can't give. They are teeming with "the uncertain, the angry..., the unattractive," and — let's be honest — jerks. Unlike real life circa 1973 or even 1993, there's nobody to vouch for singles online.

On the other hand, tales of love at way-up-there ages are inspirational. Experimenting with the same sex, a different sex, a different race isn't off the table, but nobody's asked. Or you did do that, and it was wonderful, and why didn't you do that before? After all, love is love. You date the wrong people, you date the right people, you're exhausted and disappointed. And sometimes, even for awhile, you're someone's "'sweetie.'"

According to a study quoted in Gray Love, about 25% of American adults live alone. If you're one of them and open to a relationship, you need this book.

Just know that this is not a how-to manual. Editors Nan Bauer-Maglin and Daniel E. Hood don't offer advice in their introduction, and most of their storytellers didn't Ann-Landers their way into this book. Instead, you'll read tales of dating and mating gone happily right and very, very wrong, told in ways that will make you laugh, sigh, and know that you're not alone in your late-life search for love. The mixture here is diverse and wide: if one tale makes you want to swear off dating forever, the next one offers happily ever after.

Be aware that a few of the tales flirt with the explicit, and others might ruffle a feather or two. Still, it could be great to share it with a millennial or older GenZ'er.