COURAGEOUS DISCOMFORT: HOW TO HAVE IMPORTANT, BRAVE, LIFE-CHANGING CONVERSATIONS ABOUT RACE AND RACISM
SHANTERRA MCBRIDE AND ROSALIND WISEMAN
© 2022 Chronicle Books
$24.95
208 pages

You want to have the right conversation about race. You strive to be respectful. Courageous Discomfort by Shanterra McBride and Rosalind Wiseman can help.

McBride and Wiseman say that discomfort is necessary for (eventually) doing good in order to make change. Recognizing that everyone has a right to dignity and acknowledging their worth is the first step. The next is reading the series of "questions" or might-happen scenarios that the authors present, and getting some ideas on how to be a good ally.

For example: Should you speak up, for instance, if a teacher says something racist in class, even if it might mean trouble for you? What if it's a friend or a family member who says something offensive? Should you apologize for what others have done, even it was a long time ago — and if so, how? You say you don't "see color," but when do you actually need to see it?

Everyone has biases, the authors say, but curiosity is natural for learning, so take care that microaggressions don't get in the way. The authors also acknowledge that being curious is tricky, but that you should never be afraid of it.

Other advice: Don't be offended if someone doesn't trust you; there's a reason for it, and it goes way back. Likewise, don't be mad if they don't always include you in every event. Be willing to listen if someone has a gripe with you, whether in a post or a statement, or mentions something you did that hurt them.

Also: Be patient. Figure out what being an ally means to you. Leave a Black person's hair alone.

And finally, remember that taking ownership isn't about shame but about growth. A step in the right direction is a step in the right direction.

In its first few pages, Courageous Discomfort is a perky explanation of the friendship of McBride (who is Black) and Wiseman (who is white and Jewish). It doesn't linger, though; the book then takes a scolding tone before it settles in to the help it promises.

When the authors advise readers to use caution, they mean it, though. There's a little bit of talking-in-a-circle in this book, and enough repetition that you'd notice. There's some confusion about how readers should act when meeting new people — do you ask them about themselves, or don't you dare? — and prompts to speak up when one sees injustices, but no good help on that for the quietest of readers.

Conversely, and to be sure, the advice the authors give lays a great foundation for equality work, but nuances in the narrative mean that this is probably a book for older teens and young adults.

If day-to-day activism is your goal, Courageous Discomfort helps you put your money where your mouth is.