RAISING OLLIE: HOW MY NONBINARY ART-NERD KID CHANGED (NEARLY) EVERYTHING I KNOW
TOM RADEMACHER
� 2021 University of Minnesota Press
$18.95
200 pages

Fill-in-the-blanks.

That's what you get when you have a baby: unknowns. Its birthdate is often a guess; its length and weight are surprises. Will it have your eyes, long fingers, Dad's smile, Grandma's nose? And sometimes it's not boy, not girl but, as in the new memoir Raising Ollie by Tom Rademacher, neither, thank you.

When his daughter, Olive, was an infant, Tom Rademacher says he "struggled in those early months... to enjoy much of parenting..." There were vast amounts to learn, but little "Ollie" was a patient teacher.

As a toddler, Ollie was particularly talented in language and arts, attributes their teacher-father and therapist-mother encouraged. Early on, they were super observant, wise, and curious about just everything; when they were in second grade, suspicions that they were an intelligent kid were confirmed by the label "advanced learner."

But school was a trial, even for a uber-smart seven-year-old.

Ollie suffered from anxiety. They hated crowds and making friends and unwanted attention; they had the wit, open-mindedness, and understanding of an adult sometimes, but with little-kid coping skills. Normally a voracious lover of learning, they began to dread each school morning, and they seemed tearfully fearful of some classes and teachers. Obviously, a change in schools was needed. Ollie did their own research.

Shortly after starting third grade, Olive — who prefers "daughter" and uses gender-neutral pronouns — begun loudly, confidently, assertively identifying as a nonbinary kid.

Around the same time, Rademacher, a 2014 Minnesota Teacher of the Year, had been unemployed due to budget cuts but was working on how to offer the best support for his students, just as he wanted for his child...

Raising Ollie is absolutely delightful. It's also less than half about actually raising Ollie. It's filled with funny stories that will make you laugh. It's a peek inside today's classroom, with a teacher who offers relatable lessons to a notoriously tough audience of teens.

Rademacher starts this memoir with a teasing warning to readers that stories are important in his family. He fulfills his promises to tell tales about his life, his parents, racism (and his efforts to eliminate it in the schools where he works), and the stellar students he's had. His stories make you want to be seated at his table at a conference.

There are sometimes-hilarious tales of a Midwestern growing-up, idyllic and happy and nostalgic, followed by a typical, angsty, identity-searching teenage-hood.

And yes, he tells stories about his smart, funny, talented child who is an "art nerd" and loves cosplay and wore girly dresses until about age seven — but just not enough. Sigh.

Teachers will adore this book. There are laughs all over the place for just about every reader who can appreciate a little self-deprecation. But if you're looking for a parenting book about rearing a nonbinary child, Raising Ollie may leave you blank.