During my interview with Brian Broome, author of Punch Me Up to the Gods, the statement he made that stood out to me the most was "Learn who your child is before you give them the arms to reinforce them against a racist America."
This goes deeper than just preparing Black children for the world around them. It is about parents holding themselves responsible for giving their children the type of love and support they need. Every child is different, and only they can tell you who they are and what type of support they need.
For over three years now, one embodiment of this pure, unconditional love has been retired NBA star Dwyane Wade. He has stood by his daughter Zaya as she came out as a Transgender girl, and he's urged parents to support their children at pivotal moments like this.
Wade and his wife Gabrielle Union took Zaya's coming out very seriously. And while they are allowing her to lead them down this new road, they are also doing their own research, making sure properly supporting Zaya is their top priority.
Wade has received a mixture of praise and harsh backlash for his decision to support his now 14-year-old child. In the latter group have been rappers, fans, and former R & B stars, who have offered their unsolicited, toxic opinions on the situation, chastising his parenting, attacking his manhood, and making vulgar comments on aspects of transitioning that have not been mentioned publicly by anyone directly involved with Zaya.
"All the people who got something to say about my kids, I thank you," said Wade in response to Boosie (a rapper) and J-Boog (former member of B2K) who publicly said negative things about Zaya's transition and recent recognition, "because you're allowing the conversation to keep going forward, because you what? You might not have the answer today, I don't have all the answers, but we're growing from all these conversations. So, I thank everybody for even hating and starting these conversations, because those conversations are starting other conversations that we need to have and that's happening out there."
Wade has stated that his daughter has known her gender identity since she was three years old, and he himself realized early in her childhood that he had to check himself. The offhand comments he had heard in men's locker rooms would no longer be acceptable. In a moment of self-reflection, Wade realized that his previous perceptions and choices of terminology would have to change.
The understanding that Transgender children are killing themselves shook him. Unwilling to risk his child's life, Wade has shown Zaya tremendous support, which has allowed her to flourish.
This past March, Michelle Obama chose to honor Zaya during Women's History Month. "I am just so proud of you, you know, being just an amazing role model and embracing your truth," Michelle Obama said to her during their conversation. Zaya blushed and gushed over her idol in what was a heartwarming display of support for a Transgender girl of color.
This generated a lot of controversy: social media raged with men proclaiming that a "boy" would never be a role model for their daughter, while women battled feeling simultaneously slighted and pleased with progress.
It is understandable why some people feel the way they do about Zaya being honored as a courageous young lady. The thing is, though, while they may not want their daughters to look at someone assigned male at birth as a female role model, Zaya is a role model for other little girls like herself, girls who are still too afraid of the world's judgment to be themselves.
No one can deny that many young women deserve to be recognized for their outstanding accomplishments and contributions to society. However, Zaya is also an undeniably brave and outstanding person.
Zaya has been born into a rare circumstance which will define who she grows up to be. The product of a family with the means and compassion to defy social norms, Zaya is one of few Black members of the LGBTQ community, and even fewer Black children, who will know how it feels to genuinely be free.
She will have to deal with hecklers, haters and close-minded individuals who will refuse to understand her, but the support received from her father, stepmother, and siblings will mitigate those negative opinions. Zaya will never have to search for acceptance from strangers, because it will have been given freely and openly by the people she loves.
Wade's inspiring display of support is parenting at its finest, making him the MVP. Despite what any naysayer may believe there should definitely be a place with Dwyane Wade's name in the Parenting Hall of Fame.