Saturday, Jul 20, 2019
 
search SGN
SERVING SEATTLE AND THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST FOR 37 YEARS!

click to visit advertiser's website


Javascript DHTML Drop Down Menu Powered by dhtml-menu-builder.com

Last Weeks Edition
   
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website




 
 

 

 

[Valid RSS]

click to go to advertisers website
to Section One | to Arts & Entertainment
posted Friday, August 30 2013 - Volume 41 Issue 35
Kiki with D: Trampin'
Arts & Entertainment
ALL STORIES
  next story
Kiki with D: Trampin'

by D Smith - SGN Contributing Writer

Dear D,

I am a pre-op Transgender woman living in a small town. As you can imagine, it is not the most ideal situation. Life is hard and my ability to meet someone to share life with is difficult. My problem isn't that I don't meet guys - the problem is that the kind of guys I meet only want sex. I am at a place in my life where sex is not that important. I am looking for a life partner.

In the town I live in, most of the Transgendered women are prostitutes or viewed as prostitutes. So that is how I feel I am being viewed and treated. I don't like feeling like this or being treated like this. I have men from other states and countries who reach out to get to know me, but they are not close enough to make a connection that will work for me, and I don't want to move. My family and friends are all here. Making those types of changes are drastic and scare me. I want to be loved and have a partner, but do I have to leave in order to have that? Is there not any place that is closer to me that I can find someone to be with? Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
- The Tranny Is Not a Tramp



Dear Not a Tramp,

I appreciate you for your courage to tell your story and thank you for reaching out for advice. Being from a small town myself, I can truly appreciate and understand what you are going through. Small towns breed small minds, which can in return make life there very difficult. I can only imagine all the issues you face daily.

When we make changes in life as big as the changes that you are making, sometimes we have to change everything in our life. Just like a plant that has outgrown its pot, we must replant into a larger pot. Maybe it's time for you to replant into your larger pot. Obviously, you have outgrown the town you live in and you may have to move out of that town to a place where you can get what you are looking for.

Based on what you have said to me, it seems that you are at a point in your transition where it is time for you to change into a new environment - an environment that will allow you to grow and prosper. Relocate yourself to a place where you can get all that you need in order to fulfill your dreams. A place where you can obtain all that you desire.

Staying in a place that stifles you only will create negativity and bitterness, and leave you lonely. I understand that you don't want to leave your family and how scary that is. Facing our fears is the first step in true growth. Think back to when you started your change - you had to face the fears then. Now is no different. It's just time to do it again, and this process will continue throughout your life.

Now, to make the process a little easier, I encourage you to reach out to family members or friends who live in larger areas. This can make the transition more comfortable and the adjustment easier.

I hope this helps. Remember always be true to you and always encourage yourself. - D

Dear D,

So I have a friend who I'm really into a lot and when we hang out we have a great time. Sounds good, right? NOT! This person is harder to gauge then most people I've dated. We'll hang out a couple times and then I don't hear from him. Everybody says to not hit him up again until he hits me up, but when he does it's only because - as he puts it - he's bored. I'm thinking, could this be a test? Anyway, he also said he was moving this weekend. I offered to help, and his response was, 'Can I get $200 for storage?' I'm like, damn, we only hung out like twice! I do like him but I'm honestly feeling like a sucker. Is this a game? Should I peace her out or what? - Am I a Sucka




Dear Am I,

A friend in need is a friend indeed. It is my pleasure to be here for you in your time of need. Like most things in life, when it comes to dating, time is the best teacher. The more time you spend with a person the more you get to know about them. I always trust my gut. My intuition is hardly ever wrong. However, that's me. If you feel like you are being played, maybe you are or maybe not. Maybe things are just moving fast for her but not fast enough for you. It sounds like there is more to story than what's being told. Time to investigate and what better way to do that than getting the inside scoop? If you are not ready to cut your losses and move on, I have an idea I would like for you to ponder.

Think about how much you would spend on an average date, and offer that amount to him, if you feel that $200 would be too much to ask of a person you have only known a short period of time. Also, offer to help him move. This shows your willingness to do all that you can to be there for him in his time of need. Not to mention it won't bust your pockets either. Take time to look at how he reacts and what he says when you make him this offer. It will tell you everything you need to know.

The truth is if he is not talking there is not too much to go on. In the future I would encourage you to engage in conversation that will allow you to get to know him better. Ask him open-ended questions that allow him to elaborate on things, not ones with yes or no answers. This will give you an opportunity to know more about him.

Sometimes things are not what they seem. Remember there is something you like about him or you wouldn't be longing to spend more time with him. Just take your time in getting to know him and only do what you can. Don't over-extend yourself - it's still new. Enjoy this time, no need to rush it. Let us not forget all good things come to those who wait.

Hope this helps. Remember always be true to you and always encourage yourself. - D

Life problems getting you down? Have a burning question? Can't tell your girlfriend? Hit me up! KikiWithD@gmail.com

Tell a friend:

Share on Facebook  Share on Facebook

Post to MySpace!Share on MySpace!

    Share on Delicious

Share on StumbleUpon!

A Broadway lion in Seattle - There's nothing secondhand about Gregg Edelman
------------------------------
Not feeling the 'same love' - Openly Gay rapper accuses Macklemore of plagiarismfootsteps
------------------------------
Bumbershoot 2013: SGN's guide to Seattle's signature festival, now in its 43rd year
------------------------------
Ricky Martin: I was a bully - Gay pop star opens up about his homophobic childhood
------------------------------
Madonna: Coming soon to your living room - MDNA tour DVD/Blu-ray to be released Sept. 10
------------------------------
Not feeling the 'same love' - Openly Gay rapper accuses Macklemore of plagiarism
------------------------------
A taste of the East out West - Belltown's Black Bamboo fills a delicious downtown niche
------------------------------
Serving it up family style - Eating My Feelings looks at domestic dysfunction from a unique Gay perspective
------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------
Kiki with D: Trampin'
------------------------------
Read a book instead: Vapid Austenland wastes an inspired premise
------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis snag two VMAs
------------------------------
Northwest News
------------------------------
Letters
------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

------------------------------

click to visit advertiser's website

click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
click to visit advertiser's website
Seattle Gay Blog post your own information on
the Seattle Gay Blog
 

gay news feeds gay news readers gay rss gay
http://sgn.org/rss.xml | what is RSS? | Add to Google use Google to set up your RSS feed
SGN Calendar For Mobile Phones http://sgn.org/rssCalendarMobile.xml
SGN Calendar http://sgn.org/rssCalendar.xml

Seattle Gay News - SGN
1605 12 Ave., Ste. 31
Seattle, WA 98122

Phone 206-324-4297
Fax 206-322-7188

email: sgn2@sgn.org
website suggestions: web@sgn.org

copyright Seattle Gay News - DigitalTeamWorks 2012

USA Gay News American News American Gay News USA American Gay News United States American Lesbian News USA American Lesbian News United States USA News
Pacific Northwest News in Seattle News in Washington State News