Burning down the Haus |
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Seattle Gay News
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posted Friday, May 11, 2012 - Volume 40 Issue 19 Burning down the Hausby Maggie Bloodstone - SGN Contributing Writer Rammstein Tacoma Dome May 14 German industrial rockers Rammstein may not be able to perform one of their most notorious songs as it was originally intended this Monday at the Tacoma Dome - not unless their fans can convince their management that singer Till Lindemann and keyboardist Christian 'Flake' Lorenz will not be obliged to spend the night in one of Pierce County's gray-bar hotels for 'indecency' involving a rubber dildo. A rubber dildo that shoots an impossible amount of (presumably) artificial ejaculate over the exposed nether regions of Herr Lorenz (and very likely the entire first four rows and a few security guards). This was the crime, set to their most ferocious work of metal-punk, 'Buck Dich' ('Bend Down') that earned the pair an evening in a Massachusetts jail during their 'Family Values' tour in '98. (The thought of the young hetero boys who came for Korn and Ice Cube witnessing the scene and gasping, 'Dude! Is that his dick?!?' brings a smile to my face.) This same celebration of simulated sodomy - among other colorful transgressions - earned them the condemnation of certain moral commissars in St. Petersburg (Russia, not Florida), who have publicly vowed to 'punish' the band in the wake of a recently approved bill banning the 'promotion of homosexuality and pedophilia.' (Again: Russia. Not Florida.) Perhaps in light of this development, compounded by the interminable verbal santorum that has replaced American political debate over the last few years, Rammstein's management opted not to risk possible fines and incarceration during this year's U.S. tour. While understandable, this decision has infuriated American fans, who, instead of the spermy spectacular that (ironically) was performed intact in the Russian shows, are getting a surreal scenario featuring a light saber, stage blood, and a geyser of (presumably) faux cum erupting from Lindemann's face. You'd have to be there. Seriously, you have to be there. Because even without the transgressive sexual content, jaw-dropping pyrotechnics, and ample male pulchritude, Rammstein will still kick musical ass like no other mortal band. Rock may have always been dominated by Cock, but even the most jaded butt-rocker will admit an ersatz schlong and fake spooge do not a great band make. The 'Made in Germany' tour is a retrospective of not only their best-known material, but their peak aesthetic achievements and their most infamous, complacency-threatening numbers, including 'Buck Dich,' 'Mein Teil,' and 'Mann Gegen Mann.' It's worth taking German 101 for the lyrics alone, but in any language, Rammstein's heart, soul, and cojones burn like a napalm nova through expertly composed and performed sound owing as much to Wagner and Ludwig Van as to AC/DC and the Ramones. Go, and enjoy some of the most powerful, life-affirming rock this side of Valhalla, and thank your respective deity you don't live in St. Petersburg (Russia or Florida). Then go back home and keep fighting for the right of Americans (and our German visitors) to fly their freak flags and schvances high. |
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