A Dyke About Town: Kate Clinton keeps Benaroya in stitches
 

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posted Friday, November 4, 2011 - Volume 39 Issue 44

A Dyke About Town: Kate Clinton keeps Benaroya in stitches
by Mercy Moosemuzzle - SGN Contributing Writer

Thomas Mapfumo
Cuteness turned Mercy on to Thomas Mapfumo and the Blacks Unlimited at the Triple Door on October 24. Cuteness said she wished Mapfumo had told more stories about the songs, but that it was a fabulous show with a Zimbawean dance band that made everybody happy. Thomas said the music stands for justice and freedom. Both Mercy and Cuteness liked Thomas' brother Lancelot, who played hot congas and melodious xylophone. The group earned a standing ovation. His most recent release is Rise Up.

Mercy liked the hostess, who was very helpful with finding seating that worked with her disability.

Kate Clinton
Reality joined Mercy for Kate Clinton at Benaroya Hall on October 28, because Mercy had a conflict. He said Clinton is 'really out there.'

Clinton told many great jokes:

'This is the home of the Seattle Storm. The NBA isn't going to have a season this year, but the WNBA will. I'd like to come back as Sue Bird or Sue Bird's basketball.'

'I have Bush Tourette's syndrome: I have to swear whenever I see him.'

'People asked me why I call this 'The Glee Tour.' We love Glee because problems are solved in 46 minutes and people break into song and dance for no reason. When I was in high school, they didn't have the 'It Gets Better' videos. They handed out a pamphlet titled, 'It Doesn't Look Good.'

'Google has ruined our fighting. Now we talk about our feelings. I was raised Irish Catholic. If I had a feeling, I went to my room.'

'My girlfriend says I'm jealous of the Tea Party. They are ruining the Republican party. I wanted to do that.'

'I've been crazy since they demoted Pluto. Speaking of stars dying: Oprah. Also Weight Watchers changed the point system and the one-point fudgesicle has been changed to three points.'

'BP says the spill has been absorbed, but its raining oil in Detroit. Mother Nature is pissed. We had an earthquake in New York. People were saying, 'Did you feel that?' A Lesbian doesn't want to hear that.'

'In the airport, I went through the X-ray machine. I have them send it to my doctor.'

'George Bush thought Arab Spring was a deodorant. You'll know it is an Arab Spring when Saudi women can drive and vote. You can tell it has been so busy Hillary Clinton hasn't had time to get a haircut.'

'I've become a lazy top. I'm still in charge. I want to lie down. That's our foreign policy: leading from behind.'

'We aren't supposed to talk about taxes. Let's call it 'fees for service.' If you want to raise money, tax the church. The pope is trying to get his predecessor, John Paul George Ringo, canonized. He has to have three miracles. The first one was healing a woman of Parkinson's by phone. The second one was making the pedophilia scandal disappear.'

'Obama said his attitude toward Gay marriage was evolving. New York State got marriage equality. They had to have an exception for fundamentalist churches. They wouldn't have to do Gay weddings. At issue is the use of those ugly multi-purpose rooms. No Gay decorator could do anything with those.'

'There is an election coming. The debates look like American Idol in reverse. They keep adding people. If candidates are going to accept contributions from corporations, they should wear their logos.'

An enthusiastic standing ovation followed.

Rickie Lee Jones
Mercy is looking forward to seeing Rickie Lee Jones at Jazz Alley. Band members are Reggie McBride (bass), Johnny Friday (drums), and Carlos Murguia (keys). She will be there November 8 and 9 celebrating her new record Balm in Gilead.

Jones is a singer, songwriter, musician, and producer. She has been performing for 30 years. She has recorded jazz standards, pop, blues, R&B, and soul. She has had five Grammy Award nominations (Record of the Year, Best Pop Vocal Performance, Female, Best Female Rock Vocal Performance, Song of the Year, and Best New Artist, which she won in 1980). She is best known for 'Chuck E's in Love,' 'The Moon is Made of Gold,' and 'Easy Money.'

You can get your tickets at jazzalley.com.



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