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Monday, Oct 06, 2008
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Ask Michael |
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| Ask Michael | |
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by Michael Raitt, MA, LMHC -
SGN Contributing Writer IS XANAX RIGHT FOR ME? Michael, I am a Gay man in my 30's. My doctor recently prescribed Xanax for me because he thinks I am depressed. I don't know if it is working for me. I don't like the idea of taking medications but what should I do? Michael: Thank you for your email. Xanax is a medication that is prescribed to treat anxiety and/or depression in patients. Many patients do very well when taking Xanax and some have side-effects. You didn't mention how long you've been taking Xanax. Depending on the individual, it can take many days to a few weeks for people to notice a change in how they are feeling. If you are just recently taking the medication, you may consider continuing it as prescribed for a few more weeks. If you still don't feel any different, contact your doctor to see if you should have your dosage changed or whether a different type of medication will be better for you. Xanax is in a class of drugs called benzodiazepines. Sometimes with Xanax (and other benzodiazepines) patients experience what is referred to as a "rebound". What this means is that patients start to feel better for a few hours after taking the medication then their symptoms seem to go back, or get worse, than they were before. Not everyone experiences this and, although you never mentioned any symptoms like this, I always advise my clients to watch for this. If you think you are experiencing, "rebound" you need to contact your doctor and inform him/her about it. As always, with any prescribed medication, learn as much as you can and talk openly with your doctor about any concerns or unusual symptoms you may be having. I advise that clients not arbitrarily or hastily discontinue using any medication without first consulting with their doctor. There are other components of dealing with depression that work in conjunction with medications. Make sure you are getting adequate exercise and eating nutritious food. There is documented correlation between physical activity and alleviating depressive symptoms. If you are not in therapy, you may consider it. Sometimes depression is short-term due to situations in one's life. If you've never experienced depression before, this may be the case. Good luck with this and I hope you are feeling better soon. WE ARE HAVING LESS SEX IN OUR RELATIONSHIP Hi Michael. Thank you for doing this. I am a Bisexual woman in a relationship with a Bisexual man. We are monogamous and lately we have been having less sex. I am concerned because he doesn't seem to want to do it as much any more. How do I get him to have more sex with me? (Note: this letter has been edited due to space considerations). Michael: Thank you for your email. Changes in sexual patterns in a relationship are very common. The reasons that sex has changed in a relationship can vary and can be complex. Generally, here are some things to think about. First, open up communication with your partner and ask him if he has noticed anything different in the sexual part of your relationship. Has he noticed a decrease? How is he feeling about sex? Are you both being satisfied? Do some things need to be changed or introduced? It is true that sometimes people don't experience the same things as their partners do. Because sex is tied so much to our self-image and self-esteem, it can be very emotional to talk about. When you are talking, be curious. Ask lots of questions, take the information away with you for some time, then come back and talk about it some more. You should both practice at this. Even if he doesn't think anything has changed, the fact that it feels that way for you is important and his commitment to working on it will be equally important. I am not sure how old your boyfriend is, but if it is appropriate, he may consider a physical exam to make sure that everything is functioning as it should. I've know men in their 20's who have performance issues and, if this is the case, it will definitely impact how he is feeling about having sex. There is no shame in having that checked out by a doctor. Sometimes a change in sexual habits can be a symptom of another issue in the relationship. You've not given me anything to indicate this. However, it is common. Again, open communication about the relationship may shed light on this and may provide you both with opportunities to work on other important issues in your relationship. For many people, talking about sex is much harder than having sex. If you need help with talking about it, find a therapist who is comfortable discussing sexual issues in a relationship. Let that therapist help you develop the foundations for open communication so that you both can address any issues or concerns that may impact your intimacy. I wish you both the very best. Michael Raitt, MA, LMHC, can be reached at 206-325-4113, by email at askingmichael@comcast.net or by visiting www.michaelraitt.com. |
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