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Tour De Life by Beau Burriola |
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| Other words |
by Beau Burriola -
SGN Contributing Writer
"You won't be gone long," Izzy assured me when I told him that I was
moving. Had it been years earlier in our friendship, I might have been
offended in his apparent lack of faith. Years on though, I can listen
to his comment and hear the words he doesn't say, that he's never been
the sort of person to say, things like "I'll miss you," and "I hope
you won't decide to stay away." This is his way and I'm glad to have
had known him long enough to learn that.
"We'll still keep in touch," Mike said, though I'm sure neither one of
us believes we'll actually carry on trading mixed CDs or leaving prank
calls on one another's voicemail. I guess it's something you say when
you don't know what to say, when "goodbye" feels awkward or unwelcome.
He's been a good friend, but I know he isn't one to write and I won't
begrudge the reality of life thousands of miles away falling into
time.
"You'll love it out there," Jamie assured me, though this was a
complete turnaround in her previous opinion. Months ago, she was
telling me how awful it was down South and how she was glad to get
away. Through her soothing words I could hear her unconditional
support. The role of family is to support, even if they don't agree
one bit.
"You'll be so busy with the new place you'll forget it's even summer
here," Matty said with a smirk. His comment seemed to suggest that in
the unpacking of boxes and in the details like swatting flies and
mosquitoes and turning on an air-conditioner in my new humid home, the
memories of the home I've leaving behind would be forgotten. After our
many Pride parades, Sea Fairs, and barbecues together, both of us were
already remembering the time we spent together and wouldn't be likely
to stop in the coming weeks.
The words we speak, the things we say, are never the only words. We
speak our hearts with spoken sounds, but the space under the sounds
and the years behind them can change their meaning, even if it's
exactly the opposite; they can be untrue without being insincere, they
can be confident without being sure, and they can be consoling without
being comforting. These words about my move away from Seattle, these
other words, unspoken by those who have made up my life here, are all
part of the maturity and wisdom Seattle has given me. I know enough
now to hear them and I know how best to respond, or rather, not to
respond.
And for all the words I can say to express how grateful I am and how
much I appreciate all that I've experienced as an out Gay man in
Seattle learning who I am, it's those other words, the unspoken words
I hear, that mean so much more to me.
Beau Burriola is a local writer trying to listen deeper with the
years. E-mail him at: beaubrent@gmail.com
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