June 8, 2007
Volume 35
Issue 23
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Monday, Mar 30, 2020



Religious Coalition for Equality seeks Executive Director
Sex Talk by Simon Shepard
by Simon Sheppard - SGN A&E Writer

"Men are pigs," the old joke goes, "and I like bacon."

When it comes to sex, a certain swinishness does seem to go with the territory. Love, tender kisses, and all that stuff are grand. But there's also something to be said for sweaty, sometimes funky, groin-grabbing sex. And if something feels great, why wouldn't a guy want more? And even more?

Confesses one self-described slut, "I know that I shouldn't be thinking of sex so much. Or jacking off so often. Or spending so much time hunting for bedmates. Or playing so long with a guy when I do find one. Maybe I lack imagination, but really, I can't think of anything more rewarding to do with my life. We're always told to be unselfish. But I've found that great sex happens when everyone is taking care of his own needs first. If everyone's having a terrific time, what's wrong with that?"

It's not just the sluts who get greedy - even men in monogamous relationships have been known to pig out. Says a long-partnered fellow, "My lover and I can't wait for the weekend, so we can spend all our time naked together, screwing."

The term "pig play" has more specific usages, too, and kinky bottoming is often the theme. Pain pigs, pee pigs, piercing pigs - there are plenty of oinkers who love getting down and dirty. Sometimes the filth is literal, involving physical messiness ranging from a love of unwashed armpits, to the food-flinging fun called "gunge," all the way to the far shore of excremental eroticism. In other cases, it's more of a metaphorical wallow through the mud.

"We're told to respect ourselves, and I do&usually," says one handsome 30-ish fellow. "But sometimes I really need the total release of losing control and letting lust take over." Of course, a true loss of control entails some potentially dire consequences, and few sensible people want a romp to result in being harmed, robbed, or infected with some nasty disease. So sensible swine negotiate beforehand, set things up for safety, and only then let their erections take over.

When it comes to barnyard behavior, a sex party may be the perfect place. Not only will there be a bunch of horny guys who will, presumably, be into more or less what you're into, but a well-monitored orgy - particularly one that bans barebacking - provides a safe space to really let go of your inhibitions. And let's face it: two can be company, but 20 can be big, piggy fun. The sense of being the center of attention is, for many, one of the attractions of sty-style sex. As one water-sports aficionado enthuses, "There's nothing more enjoyable than lying back in a tub and having a bunch of men let loose all over me."

There is, though, a difference - an important one - between an occasional bout of animal lust and a life lived in the erotic pigpen. Says a therapist, "I'm not sure I entirely believe in the concept of 'sex addiction,' but there are men whose behavior sure seems addictive. It's one thing to be sexually self-indulgent once in a while. It's another to let your crotch control your day-to-day life, compulsively looking for more, more, more."

One school of thought opines that sex pigs are lacking in self-respect and good sense, and there's most likely truth to the notion that internalized homophobia can result in seeking out punishment in demeaning, dirty scenes. The therapist continues, "I see all sorts of self-destructive behavior - getting really high and having unprotected sex, for example. It may be unfashionable in some circles to be judgmental about sex, but let's face, there are plenty of men who have major issues."

That's not to say, though, that there aren't perfectly well-adjusted fellows who sometimes turn into pigs when their pants are down. After all, even the most buttoned-up of us may feel the occasional urge to act like a horny, happy hog, and a yen for raunchiness is nothing to be ashamed long as things are kept in balance. And, of course, as long as your partner enjoys a wallow, too.

Because, after all, many of us folks who lead deodorized, air-conditioned, well-regimented lives could use a bit of a vacation. And, as one happy homo says, "Hey, if sex isn't at least a little bit dirty, what's the point?"

So keep your excess in moderation and stay safe, and you, too, can be squealing with delight. Soo-wee!

Simon Sheppard is the editor of Homosex and the author of Sex Parties 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and can be reached at Visit Simon at

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