January 19, 2007
Volume 35
Issue 03
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Tuesday, May 26, 2020



Sex Talk by Simon Shepard
Speaking of accents
Speaking of bondage scenes Fit to be tied? Well, then, maybe a bit of bondage is right up your alley.

"It's great to be firmly restrained," says one happy submissive. "It makes me feel so secure and peaceful."

There's a wide range of restraint scenes, from using a simple silk scarf to secure your honey's wrists to the headboard, all the way to elaborate suspension scenarios requiring extensive equipment and expertise. The basic goal remains the same - restraining, more or less, a play partner's freedom to move. It's the details that make each bondage scene special.

When bondage is mentioned, rope-based restraint is what springs first to most people's minds. It's kinky fun that can be easily achieved with nothing more than a few bits of clothesline and a Cub-Scout-level knowledge of knots. But rope bondage can be a tangled work of art, too - webwork worthy of Spiderman. "Japanese-style bondage," which twines long ropes repeatedly around the body in complex patterns, is especially elaborate and aesthetic.

Whatever knots are involved, knowledge and care will assure a successful scene. Says one expert top, "I always tell beginners that if they're going to try tying somebody up, they should learn from someone with experience. There are tricks to even something as simple as roping together a man's wrists."

Rope's not the only tool in a bondage master's toy bag. Handcuffs are easily obtained and have a shiny drama all their own. Using them incorrectly can cause damage, though, and losing the key would be embarrassing. Leather wrist and ankle restraints are comfier and safer, and make tying a guy spread-eagle to a bed a relative breeze. While a simple pair of black leather cuffs will make a submissive's heart beat faster, more ambitious players stock their dungeons with a panoply of pricey implements, from iron shackles to hoods and gags. And in the upper echelon of erotic equipment, costly cowhide "sleep sacks" are designed to snugly encase a bottomboy's body from head to toe. (For those with diminished funds but a well-stocked kitchen, a big roll of plastic wrap will accomplish much the same thing, mummification-wise.)

Enjoyable as bondage is on its own, it can also serve as the prelude to other erotic fun, from fellatio to flogging. Recalls one fairly kinky young dude, "I went to an older man's place to play, and first off, he put a collar around my neck. Then he had me kneel with my hands behind my back while he fastened restraints around my wrists and ankles and clipped them together. Only then did he begin to pump into my mouth. It was a hell of a lot of fun."

Into SM? When the play's about pain, restraints can aid a bottom in relaxing into a good working-over. And "stressful bondage," which keeps parts of the body under strain, provides its own delightful discomforts. (It is, of course, important to keep safety in mind in any restraint scene, but when stress is involved, it's even more vital.)

Wherever the scene is headed, it's smart to negotiate before immobility sets in. As one submissive recalls, "I prefer my scenes to include genital sex. But lately I was playing with a top who was purely into the aesthetics of rope bondage. He did a great job, and even took pictures he later uploaded to me. But I kept waiting for him to touch my crotch, or his. Didn't happen, and though it was a relaxing evening, I found it kind of dull."

So whether your pleasure is shackles and shaggings, or wound ropes and wielded whips, there's a bondage scene to suit your desires. Just be knowledgeable and safe, and keep your partner in mind. It's a cinch.

Simon Sheppard is the author of Sex Parties 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and can be reached at Visit Simon at

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