Friday November 24, 2006 SGN.org |
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Volume 34 Issue 47 |
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Thursday, Aug 28, 2008
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Tour De Life by Beau Burriola |
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| For what I don't, too | ||
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"I'm thankful I'm not a meth addict," Nick and I agreed some time ago, having watched our circle of friends (and a lot of Gay Seattle) chewed up and spit out by meth. When a few lucky friends dragged themselves back from oblivion, I was thankful to have them back. Thanksgiving at twenty-seven is a lot different than ever before. It's as much about being thankful for what I don't have as it is about what I have. I'm thankful for who I am not as much as for who I am. I'm not an addict. I have a future. I'm not fighting day to day to find purpose in life. I've got direction. I'm not starving. I've got a boyfriend. I'm not bald. I've got friends. "I'm thankful I'm not fat anymore," Matt said with a giggle, launching into a story I'd heard before about his obsessive midnight trips to Taco Bell and the stomach ache he suffered after eating ten gorditas, chased by two liters of sprite, and the epiphany that followed. When he finished his first marathon last year, he changed everyone around him, too. "I'm glad I don't have to dance anymore," Jayme (formerly called "Summer") said, happy instead about her new job selling bras at Victoria Secrets. Her stories of crazed, drunk, cracked out customers, and the eight years of hell she endured at their hands, was foreign to me; but I was as thankful that she got away. We fought different demons, but our closeness over the years supported us to make changes we knew we wanted, even when we thought there were no options. "I'm glad that I made it to thirty and didn't get HIV," Eric told me with a pause, then changed the subject when he thought about what he had said. I didn't make it to 21 without getting HIV, but this wasn't about me. I've made my peace with my virus and I'm thankful and hopeful that it stops here. "I'm thankful I didn't get laid off," Diane at work said to everyone's agreement. With 10,000 people laid off at my company this year, those left are counting the days until they are gone, too, trying to be thankful for another month, but with one eye looking toward tomorrow. For many people, it will be another tight holiday season, though the company and its executives grow fat on profits. Each year, though I might lose my job, some of my health, and even some of the people around me, I choose to look at what's left in the glass. When I'm not as sure about tomorrow as I was before, it helps to put the little challenges into perspective. In my experience, it's the times when I've had the least that I've been the most grateful for what I have& and for what I don't. Beau Burriola is a local writer jotting down ideas in mashed potatoes and gravy. E-mail him at: beaubrent@gmail.com |
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visit Beau at www.beaubrent.com
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