April 28, 2006
Volume 34
Issue 17
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Whole Lesbian Sex
Don't Miss The Crash Pad
In the world of mainstream porn, the word "Lesbian" usually refers to girl-girl action scenes where two (seemingly heterosexual) women get it on. Traditionally, girl-girl porn placed the male viewer inside the popular fantasy of two women putting on a show just for him. (Ironically, many women who have acted in these films have been Bisexual in real life, giving us Bisexual women pretending to be straight women having "Lesbian" sex.)

Real Lesbian porn came along in the 1980s - videos shot by and for Lesbian, Bisexual, and Queer women. Fatale Video appeared on the scene with a list that included Clips, Hungry Hearts, and Suburban Dykes, which featured porn star Nina Hartley. More recently, S.I.R. Video brought us Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels and Sugar High Glitter City.

Now you can have your pick of explicit videos/DVDs featuring Lesbian, Bisexual, Queer, or transsexual sex. You can view Lesbian romance; how-to tips on anal sex, play piercing, erotic massage, and female ejaculation; hard-core all-sex, no-plot, tie-me-up, strap-me-down action; BDSM scenes; and Daddy/girl, butch/femme, butch-on-butch, and femme-on-femme play; and transmen packing some serious heat.

You can also get a wide range of body types, sexual cultures, and styles. You also get a wide range of production values, from amateur videos with a homemade feel to slick productions.

The latest lezzie porn production company to come along is Pink and White Productions. Their debut DVD, The Crash Pad, features the hottest Lesbian sex scenes I've ever had the pleasure of viewing.

I love the premise of The Crash Pad: Somewhere in San Francisco, there's an apartment that exists solely as a trysting place for Lesbians. You can go there with a partner or by yourself and have the wildest sex you can imagine. Naturally, because we're talking about Lesbians here, there are a few rules: 1) call before you come over; 2) once there, you must answer the phone (or leave it off the hook); 3) occupancy is first-come, first-served; and 4) you can use the key exactly seven times - after that, you must pass it on to another dyke.

I don't know what I want to tell you about first - the chemistry between the actors, most of whom are real-life couples; the amazing camera angles showing penetration up close and so clear that you can see the cream oozing; or a shocking cum shot that rivals anything in mainstream porn.

Don't watch The Crash Pad for safer-sex tips. Some safer-sex practices are slipped in so subtly you might miss them. As the director notes in the commentary, in one scene a condom "magically appears" when a dildo that has previously been in a character's butt makes its way into her vagina. Later, an outstanding rimming scene is followed by cunnilingus - same tongue, same lucky recipient.

But the most outrageous example of fluid-sharing is also unarguably the hottest moment of the DVD. Two bois enter the pad and proceed to wrestle for dominance - this is a visual reference to a standard in the canon of Gay male pornography in which the loser's butt is the trophy of the victor. In The Crash Pad version, the wrestling match is followed by a long scene of vigorous penetration with fingers, and then an outrageous rimming scene in which the recipient's anus is so open you can see her partner's rigid tongue descend into the darkness. But wait - there's more. The bottom, seemingly spent, crawls on top of her partner's face and ejaculates copiously into her mouth. This is the shocking cum shot, and the film's crowning moment. For sheer dirtiness, you cannot beat The Crash Pad.

It's also well-lit, -acted, -directed, and -staged - all those film school distinctions I admit to knowing little about. But I do know that when they're done poorly, any one of them can ruin the viewer's experience. Clearly, director Shiner Louise Houston is as skilled as she is sexually imaginative.

Unlike our heroines, you don't have to wait for some sated dyke to give you the key. The Crash Pad can be ordered from a number of Lesbian-friendly sources, including Blowfish (, the film's distributor, and Good Vibrations (, the source of the toys featured in the DVD.t

Felice Newman is a somatic coach and sex educator who works with individuals and couples. She is the author of _The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us._ Visit her at She can be reached at

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